The Calm Before the Storm

On the farm, you could see storms coming from far off, the wide, flat horizon offering a good view of storm clouds gathering miles away.  More than that, though, you could just tell when a storm was coming.  Birds would quiet and the air would still, feeling heavy.  Before a big summer storm, it would …

Chanukah, Light, and Happiness Amidst Adversity

It's Chanukah, but we never got the decorations up.  I have quite a collection of Chanukah decorations, most of them delightfully cheesy, like the string of menorah lights.  Most years, I put them up before Chanukah with the kids and it makes the house a little more cheerful amid the winter gloom.  This year, I …

Yosef’s Dreams and the Faith Clinic

In this week's Parsha, Yosef has dreams that he will be the greatest of his brothers and yet, he finds himself thrown into a pit and then wrongfully imprisoned on his way to greatness.  There had to be times, in the pit or in the jail cell, that Yosef's dreams had to seem very far …

And Leah’s Eyes Grew Dim

I know we've moved on from the epic story of Jacob and Leah in the parsha.  This week, we're talking about Joseph and his dreams and how he wound up sold into slavery.  However, in my own life, this morning, the idea of Leah's eyes came to me. It's often said that Leah's eyes were …

Vayeitzei, Cancer, and the Power of Laughter

In this weeks parsha, poor Jacob goes through a lot of trials.  First, he has to flee his home under threat of violence from his brother.  Then, he sleeps on a rock and wrestles with an angel, earning him the name Israel and a wound he carries the rest of his life.  When he does …

Asher Yotzar and Watching Him Sleep

When my children were babies, I used to catch myself staying awake even though I was exhausted just to watch them sleeping.  I'd marvel at their perfection and I would have this feeling of not wanting to miss a single moment.  I wanted to make time stand still and memorize every feature of them. Since …

One Year A Jew and One Year Married…Again

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary and, as usual, the biggest question most of my friends had was "How long have you been married?"  In this case, like so many others with my family, this was a simple question with a complicated answer.  It all depends on how you look at us. From a Jewish perspective, …

A Year as a Jew and More Questions

The title of this blog, "The Safek" refers to the Hebrew word, safek, for question.  Up until last summer, that question was my husband, who lived his life in the awkward position of neither being a Jew nor NOT a Jew for 7 long years before that question was answered.  (Spoiler alert...he was a Jew …

A Year After

A year ago, we were anxiously awaiting our meeting with the Beis Din.  We were hoping and praying and adjusting to life down from Alaska.  A year ago, we drove all the way to Brooklyn, NY through the night. Now I'm planning a trip back to New York in August for work as an Orthodox …

The Tree House and Another Move

It was a year ago that we left Alaska and boarded a plane for the midwest.  Since then, it's been a hectic year with our conversions, Mr. Safek's heart surgery, and the busy-ness of living in a fully functioning Chassidic community.  I have loved this year, even the tough parts.  Our children both had some …

Surrendering to Surrender…Again

Surrender is something I always want to be good at, but really struggle with.  A great example is anesthesia. When I was 15 years old, I had to have my wisdom teeth extracted in a surgery.  For this, they had to put me under and when I woke up, I heard the WORST language being …

L’Chaim! To Life!!!

One of the defining characteristics of Judaism is that it is a religion of life.  It doesn't focus on the afterlife or some eternal reward, but is grounded in what we do here and now.  There is little emphasis on martyrdom.  We are meant to live for Hashem and Judaism, not die for it unless …